I AM OFF THE MERRY-GO-ROUND
OF IVF AND ON THE NEXT MERRY-GO-
ROUND OF SLEEPLESS NIGHTS,
ENDLESS NAPPIES AND GUMMY
SMILES TO MAKE IT ALL WORTH IT.
for Millie, but my husband was so overwhelmed
it was a boy. I don’t think he was prepared for
how it would make him feel. He went to The
Southport School (TSS) and it was an amazing
school for him, he is dyslexic and couldn’t read
until he was in Year 8 so his parents sent him to
TSS and they changed his life – teaching him to
read; so deep down he really wanted to send a son
there too. About half an hour after Teddy was born
he joked that he was calling TSS to enrol him.
13. Does the name Teddy James have any
special significance?
Yes, Teddy means gift from God. There is no
name that means gift from modern medical
science or IVF so we went with gift from God
instead, though both played a part. James is
Gerard’s father’s name. He died 15 years ago
and would have loved being a grandad, Gerard
misses him greatly.
14. What was the public support and reaction
like when Teddy was born?
So overwhelming! I’m still getting gifts delivered
from complete strangers who followed my
journey on air and on my social media. The first
time we took him out at Marina Mirage during
our Palazzo Versace stay people recognised us
and poured love on our little man in his pram.
Gerard had a lovely woman cry and hug him
when he turned up to her house to do a job and
she realised he was my husband. Even my Dad
had the property manager of his rental property
in Banora Point congratulate him and when he
asked how she knew, he was a new grandad she
said “Phil, the whole of the Gold Coast knows
Emily had a baby!” We feel very embraced with
love to say the least.
15. It has been quite a while since you have
had a newborn in the house, how is everyone
adjusting to life with a new baby?
It’s had its ups and downs. Millie is enamoured
with him but wants to carry him around like a
doll everywhere, so we have had to be vigilant
and make sure she doesn’t literally love him
to death. As for sleep, I honestly thought my
breakfast radio hours would prepare me for the
lack of sleep, but it didn’t. I forgot how hard
the first six weeks are, but my beautiful mum
has been with me and she is a mum of five and
a childcare worker, so I’m very blessed she has
been staying with me to guide us through and do
all the cooking and washing. When she goes next
week that will be the real test, you will probably
see me at Coles wearing my PJ’s in tears.
16. How does Millie feel about her new baby
brother? Is she taking her big sister role very
seriously?
She is the most adorable little mother hen and
loves him so much. Every five seconds she
is asking to hold him, change him and feed
him. But it truly is the joy of my life seeing
her so happy to have him, she hardly watches
television anymore, she watches what we call
‘Teddy TV’, his funny little faces keep us
entertained for hours.
17. Is parenthood very different going from
one to two children? Especially with a
significant age gap between siblings?
We certainly are juggling a little guilt from
not having as much time to spend with Millie.
Having had an only child for so long she is really
used to us being at her beck and call and we
have loved that and certainly spoilt her with our
time and attention. We are navigating teaching
her that we are not as available to her but are
still here for her. It’s almost like having two
only children because the gap is so big. I am
re-learning everything about babies, it’s amazing
how quickly you forget things and it’s not quite
like riding a bike.
18. What is your number one – can’t leave the
house without baby item?
The baby! Honestly when he is asleep and so
quiet I sometimes forget I actually have him.
19. Do you have a number one useless baby
item? Something you thought might be
essential but turned out to be anything but?
To be honest most things I have, I have found
useful, but I have been gifted a million muslin
wraps, I could wrap a baby army!
20. Having finally realised your dream
of another baby, do you have any advice
for other couples going through fertility
struggles?
Advice is hard to give because couples
going through fertility struggles get so much
unwarranted advice from well meaning but
ignorant people, so sometimes it’s the last
thing they want and should really only listen
to whatever doctor they are with. So the only
advice I can give is emotional advice, and it’s to
have an exit plan for your journey. If you never
want to quit, great keep going, but I believe you
should treat your journey like an athlete would
a retirement plan. You know that one day it will
come to an end so what next? A smart athlete
puts in place a second career or other goals.
They study, get qualifications, make investments
during their sporting life so that when it comes to
an end they have something else to look forward
to. I felt the same with trying for a baby, if it
wasn’t going to work, I needed to have a second
choice that would still fulfil me and make me
happy. So we explored Foster Care, we both have
lots of career choices, and a bucket list of goals
that were achievable without children in our life.
Then, we had a limit for our trying so we knew
when to stop. It was based on my age and our
finances. When we hit that limit, we were ready
for our retirement from the fertility merry-go-round
and were going to move on. Whether
Teddy came along or not, I was mentally ready
and almost excited about what was next; but now
I’m one of the lucky ones. He is here and I am off
the merry-go-round of IVF and on the next merry-go-
round of sleepless nights, endless nappies and
gummy smiles to make it all worth it.
pindaramagazine.com.au Pindara Magazine 63